Teach Them How to Bleed
L. L. Soares
Bloodshot Books (July 8, 2022)
Reviewed by Carson Buckingham

Another home run by L. L. Soares! In this exciting re-invention of the vampire trope, we have two very different people who have become immortal by virtue of being beaten to death by four people, with one other person as a witness. They die, and then they recover, with various agendas in mind. They also must feed—but the way they do it…well, you have to read it yourself. It will make you sympathetic to those who wish to wipe them from the face of the Earth.

Eliveer came back hating what he’d become and determined to deal with those who killed him and made him what he is—and they can be killed. It takes a sword and a knife—the former to behead, and the latter to the heart. But it isn’t an easy task—the immortals are lightning fast and enormously strong. Sunlight bothers them, but in a different way from the vampire lore. Susanna teams up with him to help him in his quest—but is it all that it appears to be? He is not a killer by nature, and just wants to eliminate his own killers.

Maggie Jo, a porn star living on the seamy side of life, returns and embraces her deadliness with a visit to her parents’ house. She teams up a few times, but it doesn’t last too long.  She, too, is interested in eliminating those who killed her. She has little use for humanity, and so enjoys killing.

L. B. Jade is a hunter of these deadly immortals, and when she kills one, she eats its heart, which gives her strength and power. She teams up with Henry and goes on the hunt for Boots Sutton—the number one immortal.

During the course of the story, The Madonna of the Skulls is released from the vessel in which she is imprisoned and occupies Maggie Jo. She is the worst juju in the lot.

This is a complex novel that explores humanity and the choices we make. There is nobility here, along with lowness, debasement, courage, and selflessness.

It’s a microcosm born of brilliance.

5 out of 5 stars. Highly recommended. I’m honored to have this one on my bookshelf!




About Carson Buckingham

Professionally, Carson Buckingham has made her way in life doing all manner of things, most of which involve arson. She is currently employed as a freelance writer on a work release program. In her spare time, she studies forensics, in hopes of applying her new knowledge to eluding the authorities more effectively the next time. She is originally from Connecticut, but now resides in Kentucky—and Connecticut is glad to be rid of her.

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