TIME IS MONEY BY AUTHOR SILK WHITE SEPT 17
by Catherine Bader
A new neighbor next door. Need to go introduce myself. Bring a small gift.
Holding a pretty fruit basket, I knocked. Suddenly remembered that my cat, Kitty, was outside. I’ll get him on the way home.
Opening the door with eyes cold and glassy looking. Immediately brightening with a smile.
A nice lady. Talked my head off.
But she sure didn’t like men none. Filthy creatures they were.
Don’t leave yet. I’ll get you a tasty bit from my oven. She carried a delightfully smelling dish.
You did tell me you had a male cat, right?
Film Festival Hit
Available Now on DVD
New York, NY – Wild Eye Releasing has announced that Mike Davis’ President Wolfman is now available to own on DVD following a wildly successful festival run. Since its premiere at the Sydney Underground Film Festival, President Wolfman has been a favorite of audiences and critics alike, with the Huffington Post applauding the filmmakers for delivering “a candidate both parties can get behind.” President Wolfman has won awards around the country, taking home Best Script at the New Orleans Horror Film Festival and Best Feature at both the Aliens to Zombies Film Festival and Atlanta Horror Film Festival.
Meet John Wolfman: politician, single parent and werewolf, a man whose (hairy) hands are definitely full. Not only is he trying to stop his opponents from selling the US to China, he also has to solve a series of grizzly murders in the capitol. Add a crazed mad scientist, Smokey the Bear, a Miss Teen beauty pageant and a race against time to save his eight-year-old son Bobby from a murderous Vice President, and you have a movie that will keep you howling from start to finish.
Hailed as “perfect for fans of campy horror” by The Washington Post, President Wolfman was made entirely from recycled, stock and public domain footage with a newly scripted, scored and re-voiced soundtrack with enhanced visuals and effects.
The DVD release of President Wolfman (SRP $14.95) exclusively includes several short films from director Mike Davis, outtakes, a music video and a highlight reel of the production.
By Terrie Leigh Relf
We tried crop after crop until attempting pumpkins. It was a disaster! Their tendrils and leaves, the first fragile blossoms, turned to mush and stank worse than rotted eggs.
What with Halloween being a mere four months away, and our farm subsidy about to end, we called in a much-needed consultant. She checked our soil and water supply before finalizing her report.
I paid her exorbitant bill with gratitude, determined to save our farm.
I walked her to the door, leaving my husband in the living room. She pressed a packet into my hands, whispered, “You know what to do.”
For more from Terrie Leigh Relf: http://tlrelf.wordpress.com/
ROBIN INCE (The Infinite Monkey Cage)
SARA PASCOE (Live at the Apollo)
KATY BRAND (Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show)
MITCH BENN (The Now Show)
AL MURRAY (The Pub Landlord)
PHIL JUPITUS (Nevermind the Buzzcocks)
STEWART LEE (Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle
RICHARD HERRING (Fist of Fun)
TIM KEY (Alan Partridge: Mid-Morning Matters)
RUFUS HOUND (Mock the Week)
MICHAEL LEGGE (The Alternative Comedy Experience)
NEIL EDMOND (Him & Her)
CHARLIE HIGSON (The Fast Show)
An (almost) Halloween Night of horror and comedy.To tie in with the publication of a new anthology of horror stories by comedians, an evening of stand up, music, readings and maybe the return of some killer crabs.
With Charlie Higson, Stewart Lee, Josie Long, Steve Pretty, Joanna Neary, Johnny Mains, Robin Ince and a host of guests to be named.
In June the film “CRAWL OR DIE” was released in Japan under the title “ALIEN CRAWL.” It was quickly labeled by critics as “The most CLAUSTROPHOBIC movie ever made!”
This month Uncork’d Entertainment and Vertical Entertainment have released CRAWL OR DIE in the USA and CANADA and viewers can decide if JAPAN was correct.
Plot: Earth as we know it is gone. A virus has destroyed the planet and rendered all its women infertile, all but one. An elite team of soldiers are tasked with bringing the woman to safety on the newly habitable Earth Two. But when they are forced underground they find themselves fighting for survival from an bloodthirsty creature in a maze of ever shrinking tunnels. As the team’s ranks start to dwindle, the tunnels shrink and the ammunition run out, the crawl for survival becomes more and more desperate.
CRAWL OR DIE is a full length feature film written and directed by Oklahoma Ward. The movie stars Nicole Alonso, Torey Byrne, Tom Chamberlain, David P. Baker, Wil Crown, Tommy Ball, Clayton Burgess.
Watch the trailer here:
by Catherine Bader
She was SICK of her job. She wanted to opt out of Corporate Life.
She stared at the old dilapidated house – buckled, faded, peeling. The aura sucked her in as she walked towards the crooked front door.
She dreamed of being a famous painter catching all the nuances of this peculiar, ugly house. Make lots of money – get out of the daily crappy routine.
Smiling to herself, she pushed open the door and stepped in…
Falling through empty space…
She landed somewhere. Her leg broken. A whispery, slavering voice assailed her.
Opt out? Opt out? Opt Out.