Pumpkin Chunker
By Joe Nazare
Gordie was crazy with the idea of visiting this rural patch ever since he found out it featured a launcher. Unfortunately, he had to wait almost all October until his support-extorting ex deigned to relinquish hold of their daughter.
Now, though, Gordie sports a rapt smile as he watches the giant trebuchet rid itself of its cargo with one violent sling. The projectile soars high and far through the night sky before finally capitulating to gravity with a splattery thud.
“Wowser! How’d you like that, pumpkin?” Gordie enthuses, but regardless of her drugging, his offspring’s in no shape to respond.