The Last Survivors
Directed by Tom Hammock
Starring: Haley Lu Richardson, Booboo Stewart
August 4, 2015
Reviewed by Jess Landry
Like Zoolander’s Hansel, the post-apocalypse is so hot right now. There are so many amazing mediums to enjoy – TV shows like The Walking Dead; movies like Mad Max: Fury Road; and video games like the Fallout series.
Unfortunately, not every entry in the genre can be a winner, and such is the case with The Last Survivors.
The post-apocalyptic scenario here is that the wells are running dry in the sandy valley where teenagers Kendal (Haley Lu Richardson) and Dean (Booboo Stewart) have been hiding out for the past ten rainless years. Their plan is to repair the motor of an old Cessna (it doesn’t get mentioned, but let’s just assume these kids can fly a plane) and get the hell out of dodge. Rumour has it that there’s a lush paradise just outside the desert, but escape on foot is impossible thanks to the lack of water, the dry temperament and a group of evil-doers (mainly: one evil water baron, his equally evil daughter, a gun-toting priest and some disposable gas mask-wearing henchmen) who wander around the valley, killing people and claiming the land and water as their own (guess no one taught them that sharing is caring). We learn that the evil water baron has built a massive pump and is siphoning all the water himself, so his reasoning for going around and killing innocent people is lost on me, yet somehow Kendal gets thrown into the mix and becomes our reluctant hero, taking on said evil water baron and his misfit gang in attempt to thwart their evil, water stealing ways in the most anti-climactic fight scene ever.
If you’re looking for a movie with explosions and action and violence and all the things that make the apocalypse a terrifying scenario, then look elsewhere. The Last Survivors moves at turtle speed for the entirety of its 95 minute running time. The slow pace and absurd scenarios are what killed the enjoyment for me (ex: our heroine hides from the bad guys by throwing a blanket over herself in the back seat of a broken down car. The evil water baron’s evil daughter walks around the car and checks herself out in the side view mirror but doesn’t notice a human-shaped lump in the back seat. In another situation, our heroine gets knocked out. When she comes to, she’s been tied up and her assailants then discuss killing her. Um, maybe instead of tying her up, they could’ve saved a step and just killed her when they knocked her out? But I digress.). This movie has nothing new to contribute to the post-apocalyptic genre. It’s messy, it’s uninspired, it’s boring and it lacks heart and soul; all of this leading up to an ending that you see coming from a mile away and a less-than-stellar final battle that’s too short and too dull to garner any reaction other than a yawn.
If you’re still interested at this point, the bonus materials on the Blu-ray include two deleted scenes (which I did not watch), a behind the scenes featurette, Haley Lu Richardson’s audition and offer, a stills slide show and the film’s trailer.
So if you’re in a post-apocalyptic kind of mood, do yourself a favour and avoid The Last Survivors. Unless you want something to fall asleep to, that is.
